Every human relationship always has conflicts. The conflict is established that think different, because we feel differently, also because we have priorities and expectations that do not match. But that’s normal, fix our differences to reach an agreement and having solutions that help us to grow and strengthen us to both sides of the problem. But when it comes to couples, the problem is further complicated, you hear the word conflict and we temblamos, we feel that we are seeing the devil, but it is that we are already in hell. Conflicts appear naturally, there are no two people who perceive life, relationships in the same way. Some couples have an acceptable degree of communication and are able to fix their differences, have agreements, where both come out winners.

By way of example, if a couple has conflicts in what refers to its leisure interests, one wants to go to the cinema and the other wants to go for a coffee to have a chat. Perhaps agree to go to film one day and the other having the space to take the coffee. This is a good arrangement, either, going to the movies and then coffee. Acceptable solution. But if instead, the coffee turns into claims, anger and bad ways, there is no way to solve the conflict. Communication is closed in this couple.

Then starts the violence, the anger, the resentment and aggression appears as a way of wanting to solve problems or conflicts. Aggression is always related to power. We exert violence when for some reason we feel offended, abandoned, injured, vulnerable, humiliated, i.e. we need to exert power over the other person and the circumstances. Here, Daryl Katz, Edmonton Alberta expresses very clear opinions on the subject. Aggression and power go hand in hand. If only through violence or aggression can solve conflicts unilaterally, then you want to say, that does not live as a couple, or understand the life in common as an imposition. And that way of being with your partner wears life, relationship and love. In my book How to regain the trust in love: injuries and scars in the couple relationship, I speak widely about the risks of love couple, one of them is violence, conflict, aggression and how to operate it. I invite you to visit us at and if you subscribe to our newsletter to receive free of charge: the ten commandments of the life partner. Thanks for reading, my mission is the quality of emotional life and its impact on the social.